What's In The Way?

What’s in the way.

I worry about everything and anything. I worry about my future a lot and what I am gonna be when I grow up. I have so many ideas of what I want to be but I doubt myself in what I can achieve. I want to be a college wrestler but I’m afraid to be away from home, I’m afraid to be away from my girlfriend, I’m afraid to fail and not reach my goals like I did in high school. I have a mental block, and I don’t know how to get rid of it. I’ve even tried mental training, I’ve read books about succeeding in wrestling and they didn’t help. I feel like I’m in a rut, I don’t know how to get out of this rut either. I’ve been it sense the day I graduated high school. I had it all figured out in high school, after those plans fell through I went into to this rut. I want to be a teacher, or a dietitian or business owner or something like that. I don’t know its all so complicated to figure out right now. I have a feeling that I want to go back and wrestle but I don’t want to be away from my family or my girlfriend. So what do I do? I think about it everyday. Some days are better than others, some days I stress and freak out a lot, some days I think about it very little  and it’s a good day. I wish I didn’t have this mental block. My mind is my worst enemy. Its always telling me I cant do something, and against better judgement, I listen to it. I want nothing more than to be successful in life. I want to be somebody and not just average, but to be great you have to go above normal human expectations, my mind tells me to be normal and that im not special, but my body and my imagination tells me im capabale of achieving anything. To me the human body is a machine, and with proper care, nutrition and excersise it is capable of doing almost anything. Im trying to get my self that way, but like I said, my mind is holding me back on a leash. Where do I go to college next semester? Do I wrestle? Do I move on to bigger things? What will I be successful at?