Fear

Fear, what do I fear the most, I fear death. I don’t really fear death its self, I fear not knowing how or when I will die. It just kinda freaks me out. I like to think ill die in my sleep and it will be painless, but you never know till that time comes. I hope I get to live a long full life and be successful. I want to have a family and a house of my own that I paid for and a car of my own that I paid for. I look forward to when I have a family and kids and growing old. But theres always that fear of death lingering in my mind. I’d like to see what I could achieve before I go, I’d like my life to be of some significance. I really want to be able to do things I want to. I’m not one to have a “bucket list” I have pretty simple goals, but I’d like to leave this earth knowing I gave 110% and I left it all on the table. It’s a really depressing topic talking about death, great now im gonna be depressed the rest of the day, ive been doing good all day! I’m personally working on not fearing as much anymore, I have anxiety that kicks in and makes me worry and afraid of stuff that hasent even happened and probably never will, its just stuff I make up in my mind. My girlfriend always tells me to pray about it, so I do. i guess I could also say im afraid of not knowing what to do with my life. I’ve been waiting on my calling for some time now, just waiting. It kinda scares me not knowing what I want to do with my life, like I said I’d like to know what im capabale of doing before I leave earth. Theres several things I want to do, fight an mma fight, do a mud runner, graduate college, have a family and get married, have a career, etc. I guess I need to stop worrying so much. I fear things that haven’t even happened. I wish I didn’t fear so many things. Im working on it though. I need some more coffee, im tired.

 

 

Fabular

A lesson I learned in life is that things change in life really fast. One second you have plans to take on a new challenge, and then instead you take another temporary path. Then when you go on the next time to take on your original challenge you find yourself stuck on that temporary path, actually it’s more like a rut. Sometimes you get so deep in a rut that it becomes a way of life. Before you know it you find yourself dwelling on the past trying to make up for lost time. Life happens, you meet new people, find new interest and try your best to be happy. This may sound simple but, life is too short. Do what you want and not what other want for you. Don’t sit back and watch other people accomplish a dream that was once yours, or actually may still be yours, point is that it will hurt you the rest of your life. My advice to other is that when your leave this earth know you did what you wanted and gave it your all. I learned the hard way by not listening to my parents when they said “Kyle high school is almost over you need to figure out what you want to do about school.” Actually they still say that to me. Life doesn’t wait on you to make up your mind about something, you just have to set your mind to it and take care of business.